Heavy hearted 8/20/18

Why ? When I wake up today in the gloomy morning I feel unfulfilled. Not in the way of unfulfilled life but the utter blanket covering my thoughts. Why do I feel as if I should be crying? My heart aches my body feels lost my sense of mind is on a roller coaster, but what I would give to be on one just so I couldn't feel this. 

I sit here in my office of the job that I demise and think about how I need just three days here until I can take a trip away from it all.

Don't get me wrong running away from a problem is bad but running away from what you feel is worse. Yet, I don't have the heart to say the things I feel or the actions I want to take. Those would lead me broken, those actions would kill me. 

Where do I go? who do I go to?  Why are there no answers?

Someone knock , please I beg of you my heart is screaming for answers my mind is altering my dimensions. I am wondering into what is called the fog my mind puts me in when I want to relish and feel pain. 

I struggle you struggle, we all have our ways

Some of us just go into dark places and wait. 

My heart hurts....my heart is heavy....

my hearts in pain....

-LExx